Professional email asking a supplier for a revised quotation
Who wrote it
Tala Hijazi coordinates the move to a new office for a consulting firm in Amman. The furniture quote she received would arrive too late for the opening.
The writer and every detail about them are fictional.
What went into the template
- Who is it to?
- Mr Ahmet Yilmaz, Sales Manager, Anatolia Office Furniture
- What is the email for?
- Ask for a revised quotation: delivery to Amman by 15 January, and a price for matching chairs
- Key points
- Quotation Q-2291 of 2 November: 40 desks, delivery “within 8 weeks”
Our new office opens on 18 January, so we need delivery by 15 January
Is a 6-week delivery possible, and at what extra cost, if any?
Price for 40 matching chairs
We decide by 20 November; a reply by 16 November would help - Tone
- Neutral
The writer’s facts, as typed into the template’s form. The example uses nothing else.
The example
Professional email: Work email
Numbered notes in the margin explain each choice.
Subject: Quotation Q-2291: delivery by 15 January and a price for chairs1
Subject line
Note 1: The subject names the document and both requests. It can be found again in a month.
Dear Mr Yilmaz,
Greeting
Thank you for quotation Q-2291 of 2 November for 40 desks. Before we confirm the order, could you send us a revised quotation with two changes?2
The request
Note 2: The request is in the second sentence, and it says how many things are coming.
The two changes
Note 3: A reason makes the deadline reasonable and helps the supplier find a solution.
Note 4: A precise question gets a precise answer, and it allows for a cost honestly.
We plan to decide by 20 November, so a reply by 16 November would be very helpful5.
Deadline and reason
Note 5: A polite deadline: specific, explained and without “ASAP”.
Best regards,
Tala Hijazi
Project Coordinator, Rawasi Consulting
Structure
How it is built
Each part in order, with its share of the words.
Checklist
Before you send
Go through your own draft line by line.
Before and after
Common mistakes and how to fix them
Lines like these turn up in many drafts by Arabic speakers. Each fix keeps the meaning and changes only the English.
Dear Sir, With reference to the above subject, we would like to inform you that we received your offer.
Thank you for quotation Q-2291 of 2 November for 40 desks.
Please send the new offer ASAP.
We plan to decide by 20 November, so a reply by 16 November would be very helpful.
We need the delivery fast because we have an opening.
Delivery to Amman by 15 January, because our new office opens on 18 January.
Questions people ask
How do I write a good subject line for a work email?
Name the thing (a quotation, an invoice, a meeting) and what you want, in under ten words or so. Someone should know what the email is about without opening it.
How long should a professional email be?
As short as it can be while still complete. This one has about 110 words: the request, two items, a deadline. If an email needs more than a screen, consider a call or an attachment.
How do I ask for something by a date without sounding rude?
Give the date and the reason in one sentence, as here: “We plan to decide by 20 November, so a reply by 16 November would be very helpful.” A reason turns pressure into information.
Every writer in this library is fictional, and so is every detail about them. Universities and companies appear only as places someone applies to; the professors, papers and facts mentioned around them are invented for teaching. Use the examples to learn the moves, never as text to copy: committees notice, and your own facts are stronger.